Knocking at Death's Door

I went to death's door. I knocked and knocked, but no one answered. I turned around even more discouraged and mad than before. I returned to deaths door a week later. This time there was no knocking there was kicking, punching and screaming! Screaming let me in open this door. But yet no one came to this door. I returned a month later. This time I just stood there. To weak to knock, to tired to kick, to exhausted to scream. All I could do was cry. Cry cause I want someone to open this door. To end my pain, my heartache, and my troubled mind. But I'm continusly ignored. I see them looking out of the window to see who it is, but they won't open the door. I began to cry, to beg please please please open this door allow me to come in. I know your in there I can see you. Why do you continue to ignore me? Still no answer and no opening of the door. So what am I to do now? I'm consumed with hurt, fear, anger, and hatred. For myself more than others. I want this pain to end. I want this fear, anger and hatred to disappear. But they won't open the door. I see them looking out the window, but they won't open the door. Why won't they open the door? Don't they see my pain, don't they see my hurt? Do they not see all the tears I've cried all the tears that I am crying??? Why won't they open the door?? Why?